Ode to the Tea Party's Late, Great Christine O'Donnell

Christine O’Donnell, Delaware’s controversial Republican nominee for the U.S. Senate, is dead. And the Tea Party mourns.

But O’Donnell’s lunacy— her legacy lives on in the hearts of those nutty Delaware citizens who would have cast their votes for the anti-masturbation, witchcraft-dabbling, sexual-purity touting, resume-embellishing pauper — had she not dropped dead on the campaign trail Friday.

Yet O’Donnell’s death is testament to her passion for the causes she embraced during her 41 years. After playing the strumpe — the trumpet in college, she dedicated her life to abstinence, a dedication so fervent, it killed her: O’Donnell died of an apparent saltpeter overdose.

Saturday, at a Republican Party event celebrat — announcing O’Donnell’s death, with a backdrop of balloons and “Happy Days Are Here Again,” Delaware Republican Party Chair Tom Ross said:

“We’re in shock. At first, I thought Christine couldn’t get elected dogcatcher. But her ability to dodge past indiscretions, well that was really something to behold! I’m not at all surprised she would die trying to stay in character — er, in control of — well, whatever. She was something, all right. Say, have you tried the Cool Whip ambrosia? It’s pretty darn good!”

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